Stress, anxiety, and depression are among the most common mental illnesses that take a toll on our well-being. However, there is a solution to all of that — laughter. Laughter has truly been shown to relieve stress, boost the immune system and much more.
While you can’t avoid the stress of our fast-paced and crazy world, you can avoid being stressed out by reading funny quotes. If you’re trying to brighten your day or someone’s day, it might be best to share some of the silliest and funniest quotes.
If you need a good laugh, look no longer! I put together a list of quotes that will put a smile on your face when you need it most and quotes that will make you laugh and even out loud. They are awesome for you, your followers and your loved ones. See them below.
Funny Quotes and Sayings to Make You Laugh
What’s up with people who point at their wrists while asking for the time? It’s not like anyone can see time. I think they should start pointing at their head instead and saying, “I just got some great new brain jewellery. What time is it?”
1. Take my advice – I don’t use it anyway. Sorry if I just quoted myself, but a wise man once said that.
2. I’m too hungover to understand my own emotions. I think that means I’m an adult.
3. Don’t be the most qualified, just be the least tired.
4. I don’t need magic to turn my dreams into reality. I have a library card.
5. I’ve never met a woman who wrote her own marriage proposal.
6. Life is a fart. When it gives you lemons, make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.
7. Let’s be honest—sometimes you need a naughty person in your life to keep everything in perspective.
8. It is better to die happy than to live sad to see yourself acquire wrinkles before you age.
9. Life is too short to be anything but happy. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream.
10. Forget shopping–just grab my debit card instead!
11. When life gives you lemons, throw them at people laughing.
12. I always drink carrot juice so I can outrun the carrots.
13. Find someone who looks at you the way your dog looks at food.
14. I’m not drunk; I’m just chemically off-balanced.
15. I’m going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.
16. If you can’t be with the bone you love, love the bone you’re with.
17. I don’t need a hairstylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
18. Love is… helping with the housework.
19. When life gives you Mondays, dip them in glitter and sparkle all day.
20. Age is just a number, but I can’t remember which one.
21. Why is Monday so far from Friday, but Friday so close to Monday?
22. I don’t always take selfies, but when I do, I use the bathroom mirror.
23. What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
24. Dogs are the best. If they could talk, they would probably tell you that we humans are just plain tiresome.
25. I’m a grown man, and I don’t play with toys. I do play with knives, though.
26. Laughter is the best medicine. The best part about it is it’s zero dollars.
27. A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
28. If I could live my life backwards, I’d be a goat.
29. There is no place like home… except maybe the dentist, which is way worse.
30. You do not need a therapist if you own a bike, any kind of bicycle will do.
31. That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is, “act natural, you’re innocent”.
31. You can really laugh hard if you can watch the shape your mouth makes when you are crying.
32. If at first, you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
33. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
34. I’m not single; I’m in a long-standing relationship with fun and freedom.
35. Some people have a hard time being one person. That’s why I have multiple personalities… and they get along better than you and your friends.
36. When life gives you 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile.
37. If you see yourself always unhappy, then you need to change your glasses.
38. I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.
39. The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
40. I’m single because I was born single.
Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
I hope life isn’t a big joke because I don’t get it. If we aren’t supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator? My life is an open book… but no one is interested in reading it! I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
41. A banker is someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining and then wants it back when it starts to rain.
42. Don’t take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
43. I’m not a lazy person, and I’m just in my energy-saving mode.
44. One day, I’m going to make the onions cry.
45. It’s all fun and games until someone falls into a hole. Then it’s just fun for the people in the hole.
46. If you are always trying to act normal, you will never know how amazing you are.
47. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
48. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
49. I’m not short, and I’m concentrated awesome!
50. The only reason I’m fat is that a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.
51. I’m not short; I’m just more down-to-earth than other people.
52. I’d say “Happy Friday!” but I won’t be happy until the workday is over.
53. If you think nobody cares that you are alive, try missing a couple of payments.
54. Sometimes I just look at people and think, ‘Dang, humans are weird”!
55. If at first, you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0
56. No one’s perfect, but if you’re perfect, you’re doing it wrong.
57. I’m not sure if I’m running late or if all the clocks have just been failing me.
58. A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a body.
59. The world is full of nice people. If you can’t find one, then you have to look at me.
60. You may not be perfect, but at least you’re not fake.
Quotes That Will Make You Giggle
Life is a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with our own weirdness, we join up with them and fall into mutual weirdness and call it love. This kind of love is the kind that lasts until the end of time.
61. A day without laughter and smiles is a day wasted. Try it and see.
62. I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
63. Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments.
64. I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty sure I can hear my muscles growing.
65. When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.
66. My life is cool, but I don’t really know how to start a conversation about it.
67. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me. I’ll laugh at you.
68. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
69. I’m not lazy; I’m just highly motivated not to do anything.
70. Data is like a bunch of kids arguing on the playground.
71. Life is too short not to be surrounded by the people you love, especially the naughty ones.
72. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
73. Doing brain exercises makes your mind feel better, not like a blow to the head.
74. None of us got where we are solely by lifting other people. Sometimes you have to take the stairs.
75. I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake.
76. The definition of Insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over but expecting different results, so have some fun with that.
78. I never took algebra, but I can do an equation with confidence in my curves.
79. We’re here to pet dogs, not people.
80. That awkward moment when you eat your own ice cream cone, and you don’t know how to react.
81. Always remember that you’re unique, just like everyone else.
82. When someone asks you what’s on your mind, think about yourself.
83. You should have a six-month vacation twice a year.
84. I don’t look busy. I just multitask at a high level.
85. If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
86. You, too, can be successful if you use a large enough paper bag.
87. When you’re down, I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right beside you.
88. You have to let your inner child run free sometimes. They don’t just need time; they need space too!
89. Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.
90. People tell me I have a beautiful mind. But it’s so silly that I can’t keep a thought in it for more than a minute!
91. Holding a grudge is like letting someone live rent-free in your head.
92. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup!
93. It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens every day always exactly fits the newspaper.
94. Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, call me if you can’t laugh at yourself, and I’ll laugh at you.
95. Don’t feel bad if you fall asleep in the gym. It’s the only place where you get to lie down and see results.
96. I love my six-pack so much that I protect it with a layer of fat.
97. Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
98. Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.
99. I’m not clumsy. The floor and every piece of furniture in the room just hate me.
100. If you ever feel like you’re a failure, just remember: Your parents think you are doing amazing.
Laughter is one of the best medicine. This is why it’s recommended to read quotes that will make you laugh. It can be done in many ways, but when you are going around, and you find hilarious quotes like the ones here, you have to remember them and share them with your friends and family members.
