While conflicts are normal and inevitable in relationships, unhealthy disagreements can be detrimental. Whether you’ve been with your partner for over a decade or are in the early stages, here are six strategies to efficiently handle conflicts and prevent them from damaging your relationship.
Communicate properly
Effective communication is integral in relationships. Often, couples wait for their partner to acknowledge their thoughts and feelings instead of expressing them directly. To avoid misunderstandings from escalating, be direct when communicating with your beloved. Pay attention to each other’s nonverbal cues and ensure the environment encourages open and tension-free discussion.
Be respectful
Talk to your partner in a respectful, caring, and calm manner, and choose your statements carefully. Focus on the present situation or specific behavior that triggered the argument instead of criticizing your partner for their previous faults. Avoid name-calling and disrespectful nonverbal behaviors. If you feel that your partner is constantly attacking you or being extremely hostile, it might be best to leave the relationship, as no one deserves to be abused, physically or emotionally, by anyone.
Select your battles
While efficiently addressing conflicts is essential, not all disagreements are worth fighting for. Identify the necessary disputes that can help your relationship grow and those that are irrelevant. For instance, if you’re constantly arguing over what to get for dinner, it might be best to get food separately or create a system where you take turns deciding. If the issue seems minor, let it go, and don’t stress over it.
Avoid the blame game
One of the biggest mistakes of couples is playing the blame game. To have a constructive argument with your partner, you must avoid blaming each other as it sets you up for more destructive disputes without a foreseeable productive result. Instead of using derogatory statements that can only make your loved one defensive, begin your sentences with “I feel” and describe your feelings at the moment. Direct your focus on the current issue and not on your partner’s perceived character flaw.
Adopt a flexible mindset
A peaceful resolution should be the goal of every couple in disagreement. To have a healthy dispute with your loved one, you must widen your perspective and be open-minded. Place yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to see their point of view to facilitate a more productive discussion. Couples who can set aside their egos and remain objective without degrading their partner have better chances of long-lasting relationships.
Seek professional help
While most conflicts can be resolved with the above tips, certain instances require professional help. Couples who are open to get help are those who genuinely cherish their relationship and want it to succeed.
Talking to a licensed therapist, counselor, or relationship coach in a safe environment can help you better understand your partner and address issues that you may have inadvertently been neglecting. When searching for a couple therapist, remember to choose the one you’re both comfortable with.
Endnote
Resolving couple conflicts doesn’t need to be difficult. Take note of these tips, and don’t be afraid to seek outside help.