Nothing breaks a relationship than expecting much from it and getting less instead. When disappointments pile up, there is every tendency that such relationship will be on the brink of collapse. If you are a great web surfer, at one time or another, you would have had to clear your cache, your browsing history and more just for you to have a better browsing experience. If you don’t do this, you will no doubt have some difficult time browsing after using your personal computer for a long time.
Again, you must have realized that deleting some files from your document doesn’t mean they are out of your personal computer. You will need to empty your recycle bin to completely get rid of them. These processes, just as they are good for personal computers, are also good in, and for, relationships. Of course, you will agree with me that, no relationship has ever lasted without having one or two misunderstandings to clear off. That’s why I’m bringing this to your notice.
If you want your relationship to experience avalanche of bliss, you will have to learn how to start over. You have to learn how to let the past be where it should be and detach yourself from its hurts and pains. Forgetting the past could be such a hard nut to crack, but as long as you seek a blossoming relationship, it’s a can’t-do-without task.
What if I Don’t Start Over? This would be a detrimental thing to do. No matter how far you go, whatever you leave behind will overtake you if you don’t chain them to the past where they belong. Why do we all have New Year resolutions and why do firms have auditors? Of course, to make things work better.
Don’t be religious about it: check your emotional archives and see if there’s anything still popping up from the past, and affecting your present. My friend, it’s worth starting over!
How to go about Starting Over:
To start over, you must see the need. If there are reasons to have that done, inform your partner and get it over with.
A meeting would be best for this some helpful Tips:
*Let the first part of the meeting be so interesting that both of you will feel like a vault without lock. Forget about anything that ever happened and play the reality you would ever have wanted in the relationship.
*When it’s time to talk about the plan for the ‘Start over’, put it forth as a suggestion and never say it as a verdict. Let your partner know how pleasant it will be if all that happens in the relationship is bliss upon bliss. Make him/her realize how ecstatic it would be if you both live together with an undying affection.
*Talk him/her into it persuasively, and don’t seek your own. Be gentle and choose your words carefully. And whenever you need to talk, don’t shift the whole blame on your partner. Make it appear that you’re both wrong and you’re sorry on your part.
*The next is the action: make him/her know exactly how your heart is broken whenever such and such happen and you’ll like that they don’t ever happen again. List out all that you never wanted in the relationship and explain how they’ve caused you hurts and pains. (As a lady, it’s normal if you cry it out here. And as a man, please show some remorse)
*Clear your Cache! Empty your recycle bin! Forgive each other of the past hurts and pains you’ve both caused. Double-clear every account of wrongs. Promise to turn a new leave and that you will forever let the wrong deeds be forgotten. (Friend, I’m begging you to mean it when you say you will let bygone be bygone. Mean every jot of it! It could be the beginning of disaster if you ever allow your mouth to utter what you said you’ve let go of. Please learn to forget it for real) SPICE IT UP WITH THIS: Ask questions that will help you both to be committed the more. What do you expect of me in the next few months: this should be done this way… you do it as if you never did it before.
*Lastly, Promise to be there, be nice and be more sensitive. We all want our partner to be sensitive, so you do it.
Do a routine check-up to know if you’re keeping up with the new rule. It will help to know if you’re forgiving, persevering or apt to growth. Never act or show love through your own whims – act it ideally.